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 e-Matchmaking: Can a Computer Program Find Love For You?

Jewish Datingby Devlyn Steele

I logged on to a dating site the other day and was greeted by a large, flashing message. It promised that if I took the time to answer a series of questions that they would find a "perfect match" for me. Imagine that? All the work and worry of being single - gone! We truly have evolved! Not only can computer programs manage the entire traffic system of a city and make chess grandmasters cry, but now they can lead my perfect match right to my doorstep. I always wanted a Stepford wife, I hope it comes assembled.

The recent trend in Internet Dating has been the use of a "computer personality test" of some sort. Websites claim that these tests, usually developed by a "top psychologist", have the ability to understand you and your needs through a series of questions. Confused? Lost in love? Problems communicating? Don't worry, the Online Dating Hal 5000 can figure you out! In fact, when you're done, this computer program will know your needs and desires better than you do.

Remember the Broadway play “Fiddler on The Roof”? You might not, it was the first Broadway play I went to when I was seven. A song that always stuck in my head for some reason was “matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match…” The song starts as a plea to the matchmaker to bring true love straight to the altar; someone beautiful, rich, intelligent, and perfect.

But by the end of the song, the singer realizes that the Matchmaker might not be up to the task. She decides that “playing with matches, a girl can get burned”.

So, do these tests really work?

Personality tests have a long history. Really, really smart guys with names like Freud, Maslov, Fromm, and Jung developed respected psychological theories, and these theories are used as the basis for all types of tests. “The Big Five” theory suggests that there are five dimensions of personality: openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. Some popular personality tests use this as a foundation. Others go the “Big Three” route, which does away with the “openness” and “agreeableness” dimensions - mostly because it’s easier to remember.

I joke a little about these theories, but the truth is that they’ve survived the test of time and there is a ton of scientific research behind them. The real question is if these tests can be effective in applying a theory to the complexity of a human being. Add to this the additional layer of meshing your answers with another, equally complex person. That’s a tall order.

People have impulsive behavior that simply can’t be measured when they’re sitting, relaxed and introspective, taking one of these tests. Often our answers reflect our perfect (or hopeful) idea of ourselves. Even if we are trying our best to be honest, our impulsive behavior in real-life situations can be far different than we’d expect.

Another wildcard is attraction. We can meet someone who’s empirically good-looking, has a similar background, is kind and successful – and yet we’re not attracted. Often we can’t explain why we like another person. It may be how they make us laugh, a crooked smile – even how they smell! Sometimes little things that are immeasurable on their own can collectively make us attracted.

Human beings and our emotions and desires are far too complex, and a computer program can’t solve the riddles of our romantic lives. As Jung put it, “the meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is a reaction both are transformed”. It sounds good, but even Jung was hedging his bet when it comes to love. What will cause two individuals to react to each other? Even the developers of the study of personality would not presume that a series of questions could predict romance.

If you rely solely on matchmaking services, you are missing the entire beauty of online dating. The beauty is opportunity. Online dating offers you an almost limitless opportunity to meet and date new people. It gives you the time and space to find what best suits you. Going to a quality dating site that isn’t trying to sell you fantasy of finding your match for you will mean you will have a pool of millions of singles to meet.

Treat matchmaking options as just another fun way to explore. It can serve as an ice breaker to start a conversation, but don’t expect them to be the answer to finding your perfect match. Keep all options open and explore possibilities. As a unique individual, only can you know what works for you. You need to develop skills to communicate and meet people. Developing both online and offline dating skills is the best way to find the right relationship.

Next time you’re brushing your teeth, take a look in the mirror. See that amazing person? That’s your matchmaker with a mouthful of toothpaste. Take charge of your life and get into action! Enjoy dating and enjoy the process of discovery. Your experiences, both good and not-so-good, are essential to finding the right person for you.



Devlyn Steele ("America's Leading Life-Coach") is a Relationship Coach, Life-Coach, radio host, columnist, and the developer of ToolsToLife.com. . His new program OnlineDatingKit.com teaches Internet daters the skills they need to find their perfect matches on their own.





 
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currency converter (Score: 1)
by forex on Saturday, March 06 @ 04:11:48 PST
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currency converter (Score: 1)
by forex on Saturday, March 06 @ 04:11:55 PST
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currency converter (Score: 1)
by forex on Saturday, March 06 @ 04:12:04 PST
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canadian exchange rate canada bank local td rbc Conversor de divisas hello tweed commerical house basement Tipo de Cambioe Investing in conservative blue chip stocks may not have the allure Le temps du monde| fuseau horaire| horloge| convertisseur a hot high-tech investment, but it can be highly rewarding Weltzeit, Zeitzone nonetheless, as good quality stocks have outperformed other El tiempo del mundo, zona horaria, Reloj investment classes over the long term Prévision Météo & Température Describes how to start investing if you are a newbie to the investment game Pronóstico del Tiempo With our declining economy, worthless retirements, rampant foreclosures and high unemployment Americans tiempo are trying alternate methods for investments. Many are wanting to invest in penny stock, since they really donot have a lot to invest in to Conversion Unités Nobody has said it in so numerous words, but we are at the closing stages of the downturn Einheiten umrechnen In a time when the market is going to rise and fall as it stabilizes, it is central to be familiar with when a stock is about to weaken. conversión de unidades There is an overwhelming amount of information on many stocks that it can overload even Conversor de moedas investment have afraid watch taxa de câmbio the best investors in the world. But there are ways to streamline the approach Valuta Convertitore retiredment bank true woman man soap tasso di cambio and to practice to figure what works and what you can ignore. Обмен валюты, Конвертор валют Everybody starts out in CFD Trading wanting to make money but a whopping 95% of Traders lose, which leaves 5% winners. So what is it that the 5% of CFD Traders conversão de unidades are doing to make them win in CFD Trading. What are the mistakes Unità di conversione Successful stock market trading begins with a winning trading plan. Its as simple as that Конвертор величин If you develop a well-conceived trading plan to guide your actions tempo, fuso horário, relógio, conversor in the stock market you will already have the advantage over most tempo, fuso orario, orologio, convertitore to win over the long haul when trading the stock market or forex market время, часовой пояс, часы, конвертер of your market competition. Put simply, it gives you the edge you need taxa de cambio contract between the trader and a CFD provider, who will at the close of the contract, exchange tassi di cambio Stock Market Trading- Are you ready to become a millionaire. Here are 3 proven strategies валюта to make you become a more successful trader and increase your wealth Read the rest of this comment...






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